dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
