I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
