This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
