OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
