Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
