Jerry, you need to find god
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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