Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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