i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
