There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize