I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
