I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
