New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
