please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
