she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
