do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
