Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
smell my finger.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
