No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
