He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
