come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
