Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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