Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish my penis had an off switch
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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