Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
