maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
