i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
