You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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