There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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