Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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