This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
