I want to stick my p in your. b.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
