Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
