oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
