my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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