Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
