Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
