Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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