he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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