You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
