Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
