I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
