i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it was like eating out sand paper
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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