I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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