shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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