Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
