TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
