Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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