so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
