Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize