I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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