You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
