What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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