I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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