ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize