dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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