Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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