Old men and throwing up are my life now.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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