He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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