Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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