Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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