wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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