real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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