No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize