Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
