The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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